Stop the insanity!!!

Here's how it went down:

Me: Hurry up, we're going to be late for school.

Luca: Okaaayyyy... I'm getting my coat ooonnnn.

Me, 5 minutes later: Luca, let's go, get your shoes on! Why don't you have your jacket on?! Turn off the television! I'm not going to say it again!

Luca: Fiiine-uh!! I'm going!

Me, 1 minute later: Put on your jacket! Turn off the television! I'm leaving!

Luca: I'm coming!!!

Cut to car, boys in back seat, dog flailing around for a comfortable place to sit.

Luca: Wallace (the dog), sit down! On the floor!

Wallace gets heaved onto the floor of the car, ending up in a rather ignominious heap, head hanging like a limp lampshade.

Luca: Good boy. Stay.

Dash: Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay.

Luca: Stop saying stay! He's staying already! You don't have to keep on saying it!

Dash: Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay.

Luca: Dashiell!! Stop saying that!! You're irritating me!!

Dash: Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay.

Luca: Dashie!!! Say it in the car on the way back from dropping me off!

Dash: I don't wanno say it in the car on the way home. I wanno say it now. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay.

Luca, melting down: I told you to stop saying that!! Stop it!!

Dash: Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay.

Me, with one half of my brain already having a nervous breakdown: Neither one of you says another word or I'm stopping this car and you're both walking home.

Dash: Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay.

Luca, a frazzled puddle by now: Mamae, I'm not the one doing it!! Dashie won't stop saying Stay!! Make him stop!!

Me, the second half of my brain threatening to start acting like Mommy Dearest: That's it. No Wii for either one of you today or tomorrow!!! SHUT IT AND STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER!!!

Dash: Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay.

I need a drink. And SuperNanny.