My dog needs Prozac and I need a drink

Wanna know what it's like to drive for three hours with a neurotic dog and very, very, extremely talkative and inquisitive children? 

First, read aloud and record the following:

Mamae, do you know where the Arctic is? Have you been there? Do they have polar bears in California? Are you sure? Why not? How do you get to the Arctic? Why can't we just drive there now? I think we can. It will only take 60 seconds. Then how about the 8-second Arctic? That's where the pandas are. And the 30-second Arctic is really really close so we could go there. Fine, we can go tomorrow. I think we should take our Pokemons. They would like it there. And then we could take a boat back so all the Pokemons can see the ocean. I really think the 8-second Arctic is the best one. Because it's even closer than the 30-second Arctic. So we could get there really fast and then we would have lots of time to see the polar bears. And show our Pokemons around. Do you think I should take Raichu or Pikachu? Which one is taller? And what's the name of the one with wings? But I don't think I have that card in my Pokemon binder, do I? Do you, Luca? Mamae, please tell him to answer me. I don't have to answer you. You're not the boss of me. What if I don't feel like talking? Sometimes, you don't feel like talking (really? I don't think that's ever happened when I'm around). I don't care. I'm going to the Arctic and I'm going to take Houndoor and Raichu and you're not going to get to see the polar bears. Right, Mamae? Because brothers who are mean don't get to go to the Arctic. So I'm going to go by myself, with Mamae and we are going to see pandas and you aren't.

Then, hold the computer screen up close to your face, so this picture is mere inches away from your nose:

Ready? I'm setting the timer, I'll let you know when three hours is up.